Okay so we haven't even really started on the house yet, we've faffed around and made it feel like home, and squeezed the contents of our old house (square peg) into the new house (round hole) and we feel in limbo. I keep having a little panic at the sheer scale of what is to come, so writing these little posts helps ease it a bit and hopefully one day I can look back and laugh. Or cry. Whatever.
Stage 1. Enthusiasm
We were at this stage before we even bought the house. Buying a house with a decent sized plot, and bags of potential can mean nothing other being so full of enthusiasm for the project. You are planning the master bedroom and that beautiful patio area before anyone can even say 'dust sheets'. This fades after you have moved into the project house, when you realise you have to live in the 1970's bungalow amongst all the rubble and empty tonne bags laying around the garden.
Stage 2. Excitement
You soon get excited once planning goes in, and you can see all your hard work on the local planning authorities website. In our case, it was evenings full of alcohol, and faffing around with autoCAD. We drew various large objects to scale to see how many we could fit in the house bathroom. Masters of procrastination right here haha.
Stage 3. Preparation
We are at this stage at the moment. We have passed the excitement, and are thoroughly shitting ourselves at the deadlines which we have coming up. My dad is coming over in June to start the building on the house, so we'd like various things in place beforehand (I.e garage knocked down, and the foundations on their way) but we've also committed ourselves to putting up a new shed, summerhouse and building a new patio for us to use in summer.
Stage 4. Chaos
Your house is a mess, your routine is shot to bits and you feel exhausted from stage 3. You might not even have started knocking down walls yet, but you already see the dust clouds invading your house. Or, as it is in my case, it's the chickens invading the house as the children keep leaving the utility room door and the back door open!
Stage 5. Denial
You are ignoring the mess, and are starting to enjoy eating off plastic plates every night. The local Booze Buster and takeaway are a familiar sight as your kitchen is too gross to cook in - but on the plus side, dust has very little calories. You no longer cringe when people visit, and you find your own little haven amongst all the mess. You are blissfully unaware due to all the exciting plans you have coming into fruition.
Stage 6. Spend, spend spend
You may be sitting in squalor, but your bank balance is taking a hit as you prepare for the finish line of your renovation. you are ordering kitchen units, and fancy oak balustrades you simply can't live without, and life seems good. Well apart from the mess, exhaustion and you new lager habit you are developing from hanging out with the brickies.
Stage 7. Getting shit done
Spending all that money is starting to show. You can see how things are going to pan out, and your penciled plans are becoming a reality. Money means getting getting shit done, and your life feel chaotic and exciting. You want the world to know how you are feeling as the boxes of lovely new things are being delivered and you are on first name terms with most of the parcel delivery company drivers.
Stage 8. Being officially skint
You are spent up, but so close to completion. Everything is covered in plastic dust sheets, and you live in fear of anything spilling on your beautiful new carpets. you can finally wash away those paint splatters from your forearms and you come accustomed to your lovely old clothes again. You'd like to invite the world and his wife round for drinks and canapés, but your current budget is more beans on toast and council pop. Faffing with your fancy new things is free though, so your Instagram feed fills with arty shots of grey walls and beautiful new Desenio prints.
Stage 9. Falling out
The ups and downs of the past few months have you feeling a bit exhausted. You are both too skint to leave each others company, so spend evenings ignoring each other. You both rattle around this beautiful new home, doing your own things living in fear of slipping up. Meanwhile, that to do list isn't getting any smaller and you can't face any DIY alone. You need to pull up your big girl pants and make up with each other.
Stage 10. The fun part - making it look pretty.
In our house, this is where Steve takes a step back and lets me do my thing. I often plan out the pretty bits before a room is even decorated. It certainly doesn't just happen over night. your bank balance has just about recovered, and you are both feeling much brighter about things. Now is the time to buy that Laura Ashley lamp, to match your beautiful new furniture. Things always feel better in a freshly painted bedroom, and you spend your evenings online window shopping and planning out how to dress the guest bedroom.
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